Insightful wisdom

I'm currently reading DragonQuest by Donita K. Paul and came across this extremely insightful passage a couple of nights ago.......

Toopka sighed.  "That seems wrong - to let a gray place make your insides gray too."  She rolled over on the bed, propping her chin on her fists.  "And I think that the gray insides are too sad to try to make the gray outside any different.  So the gray outside stays the same or gets grayer, and the gray insides get grayer too, and pretty soon there's no hope for anything bright and pretty."

This resonated deep within me because I understand it all too well.  Sometimes I feel as though I'm at the point of being too far into the depths to ever have hope of reaching the surface again.  I realized I've known so much hurt and pain in my life that instead of running to God and clinging to Him I do the opposite.  I get angry with Him and turn away.  I don't know at this point if I even know how to run to and cling to Him.  Scary.